Can a woman be a feminist and still marry a man? Undoubtedly, yes. The celebrities featured in the cover photo have all done and continue to do amazing things for the black community despite the color of their partners. However, this post explores why their romantic choices can be seen as ‘anti’ despite their good works.
Why Is The Image Of Black Love So Important?
Our families were torn apart during slavery followed by further destruction from high incarceration rates and welfare incentives. Often times, our black mothers and sisters had to hold down and support the family mentally, emotionally, and financially. So when he leaves us for a ‘white girl’, it can sting because that support isn’t being reciprocated in the form of marriage and unity. The image of a black family, together and whole, gives us restoration and inspiration after centuries of turmoil. HOWEVER, if we don’t want our rights to be limited by our skin color then we shouldn’t limit others’ expression of love based on their partner’s skin color. Besides, a woman’s worth isn’t validated by the color of the man that chooses her.
How Can You Be Pro-Black and Marry White?
You don’t have to be a Native American (#DAPL) or a victim of domestic violence to support their causes. You don’t have to have an intimate relationship with a black person to understand the intricacies of institutional racism. If someone has compassion for those who have been marginalized based on their color, gender, class, or sexual orientation, they shouldn’t be slandered because their looks or bank account don’t fit the bill. If you share the same compassion then why would anyone want to stop you from partnering with that person? Together you can fight the greater fight of oppression in any and all capacities. Marriage is hard. If you don’t have shared values and goals then you can’t be pro-anything no matter what color is your partner.
No one should make a decision as important as choosing a life partner based on arbitrary races that aren’t biologically real. We have got to unplug from the matrix and understand what is the purpose of racism in the first place. It’s so we can be distracted by stories like these and disparage men like this. Jesse Williams has done an abundance of work for OUR community. His BET Awards speech almost cost him his career. Who he goes home to or what gets him off should be none of our business. You can “do better for the black women in your community” and also love the Becky with the good hair who SHARES your compassion. Let’s not let our own insecurities tear down yet another person in our community who is doing good work for our community.
(Lawd, Jesse Wiliams don’t fail us now!)
What About The Kids?
If you don’t want confused children than teach them the history of races and why they were invented. Then they will understand that they truly aren’t half of anything. Once they have that knowledge, they won’t be confused anymore.
How Do You Define ‘Pro-Black’?
What is the qualifier of being ‘pro-black’? If you are black or marry a black person, are you ‘pro-black’ even if you don’t participate in any activist or charitable work? 1000s of abolitionists and civil rights activists were white. Should they be disparaged because even though they fought and died for us they weren’t high in melanin? Kanye West literally called out the President of the United States on national television for not caring about black people. He did this regardless of the potentially severe repercussions. What his wife’s butt is made out of is seriously no one’s business.
The point is Jesse Williams was married to a black woman and Kanye West was once engaged to a black woman and guess what? Life happened and it didn’t work out. If they were to discredit black women as a whole then have at them otherwise, leave them be. Judging someone else’s love journey is ludicrous when happiness and success in marriage are already few and far between. We all have enough going on in our lives to judge someone else’s romantic choices. Spend more time looking in the mirror and ask yourself what are you doing to earn the title of ‘pro-black’ besides by just being…black…or hanging around black people.
By the way, is this not one of the greatest, ‘pro-black’, acts of kindness ever? If a brother married their mother, I wouldn’t be mad. Would you?