I think this is such a sad reality Ive experienced. Being a black woman both black and white men have an expectation that I will have a bit more sass than I do. I grew up in the suburbs, 9/10 I was the only black female in class so nope, I don't have "black girl swag" naturally. I have tried to temporarily pop my hips a little more fiercely when I walk or add a bit of "attitude" to the inflection of my voice so that I can satisfy the stereotype so many men in the dating circle need in order to feel more connected to me but ultimately it fails and I go back to speaking like the suburban Cali girl I am - gotta be me!!
Its better, though more difficult to show a man, especially if he is also "urban" that we dont all fit in a box and that the myth that black women have to be hard and are able to curse you out if necessary, is just a myth. Being able to fully bathe in our femininity and the gentleness we have in comparison to him, is a value adding dynamic for the relationship.
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